There’s a lot going on these days and I thought it would be fun to list a bunch of things for any other men out there on the internet who are in the same position as me right now and are looking for some online resources to help them through the first trimester (or maybe delude them, or even convince them to sit back and enjoy this experience some I hope). We’re talking articles, links, apps, everything you need to get things started with your newfound PregMANcy in the first trimester.
iPregnancy – This is going to blow your mind. Or at the very least screw with it a little bit. This is the be all, end all of iPad/iPhone Pregnancy apps and lets you know whats going on in each trimester. Track your doctor appointments so your not asleep at your desk or drunk at the bar when you need to be somewhere, look at creepy photos of partially developed babies, all that smart stuff. It was awarded the “Best Pregnancy Planner” by Pregnancy Magazine so you know it’s the real deal. For $3.99 it’s a steal.
Pregnancy Guide – A simple web link giving you the 411 on what’s going on. Don’t be that jerk off going ‘ummmmm’ every 2 seconds in the doctors office because you didn’t take 2 minutes to read what’s going on in that lady you dropped your man love into. Learn about each trimester and whats happening during it. And don’t be that guy sleeping on the waiting room couch, you just look a fool. Arm yourself with a little knowledge so when the shit hits the fan you were expecting it and know how to deal. Knowledge is power!
Pregnancy Suit for Men – Are you a bit mental and want to waste $700 your wife/gf/streetwalker would rather use to paint a bedroom or buy bibs and bottles with? Get the Pregnancy Suit for men so you can gain 30 pounds and empathize with your loved one. It screams loser if you ask me but hey someone is buying this stuff if the company is still in business so by all means if this is your bag, go for it. And if you do rock the suit post up some pics in the comments below I would love to get a laugh at your expense. Seriously.
Jack Daniels – Is the stress getting you down?? Woman driving you nuts with honey-do’s and you just need to get away for the night? Let your friend Jack Daniels help you through those tough times of the first or any trimester. Cook with him, drink with him, embrace him by the fire.
Pregnancy Books for Men – Take a trip to your local library and ask the librarian if they have any books for you to read since you recently knocked up your lady friend. Tell it to them exactly like that to get a nice reaction out of them so you at least entertain yourself by being a pseudo-schmuck. Just blame me. Don’t go to Barnes & Noble and buy $200 in books, you can use that money on more Jack Daniels or maybe larger breasts for that Pregnancy Suit and cop a feel on yourself.
Baby Center Website – This website has everything you need to know in one convenient place. They deal more with the mom side of things opposed to us Dads-to-be but isn’t that the case with everything in your life right now pal?? Soak up a little knowledge it will go a long way in keeping you in the game.
This should be a good start to help steer you in the right direction. With a little knowledge, humor, and a large glass of Jack Daniels you can accomplish anything in life. Don’t hide in your basement or garage waiting out the 9 months like it’s some kind of death sentence. Dance around in that pregnancy suit having a good time, hell make a YouTube video out of it. Because if you don’t enjoy yourself now, the rest of the ride is going to suck pretty bad. If you are generally a negative guy do what you can to change your mindset to being a more fun and positive one because you are going to need it my friend.. and for the rest of you who already understand the art of chilling out and letting it ride, Happy First Trimester Fellas!
I’m a fleece and fur flying, video game playing, metal loving, princess party having, man of many talents. Living just outside of NYC on the Island of Long.
Enjoy your life! No matter how many times people shake their head, always remain true to yourself.